"A picture is worth a thousand words"
I’m sure we have all read as well as recited this very quote several of times throughout our lives. What fascinates us so much about photos whether it is film or digital? Is it the fact that we relive that moment, or the photo sparked something inside you, or that we just become indulged in everything about that photo? Either way…as humans we love to indulge in anything that evokes emotion. That’s how we stay feeling alive, feeling connected, or disconnected. For me personally, I love to reminisce & relive those moments. But mostly I look at pictures missing people, particularly in that moment captured in the photo. I guess you can call it nostalgia. I adapt to change very easily. My childhood has trained me well for that. People always come & go. Change is a constant. & you never know what’s going to happen. We cannot change our past, but we can create our present. The universe works in mysterious ways, but if your third eye is open you will notice all of the hints. We all have different formulas that create our happiness, & no one’s is the same. That’s what makes life so exciting. Friends, family, jobs, etc. are good things to have in life…but if they aren’t affecting your life in a positive way then learn to let them go. In this society we learn to crutch on each other, to fill the endless expectations of those around us rather than putting our own well being first. Rather than exhaust yourself by giving everyone your time, learn to pull back in & make sure all your personal needs are met first, no matter how selfish that may sound. But think about it, if you can’t be happy by yourself then how do you expect to make anyone else happy? Stop dreaming & start doing! That’s definitely my motto this year. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always been a “doer” but there’s different types of “doing.” I’ve had about 25 jobs since I was 15. Being a hard working independent woman is the number one thing I learned from my mother. The problem wasn’t being able to keep a job, but rather than just work, work, work, I should have been selfish & really invested my time into work that I was passionate about. Now don’t get me wrong here either, I’m a Libra. Ahahah which means I seriously can be passionate about anything & everything. & it’s not because I’m wishy washy, but more so because I can find balance in everything, which means I can love anything & everything to the fullest. I can work any job, & move up quickly. Perks of being a fast learner. Point being that I am soley only focusing all of my good energy into people, places, careers, & creativity that I am extremely passionate about & that have a positive inspirational impact in my life. Career wise I’ve come across that familiar question, “Is this what I want to do for the rest of my life?” Dramatic is as dramatic does. Everything is temporary, but how long before temporary becomes comfortable? Depending on the situation, comfortable can be dangerous. You can lose yourself in comfortability. You can let go of all of your ambitions. You can lower your standards. You can give up on your dreams. I like to be challenged in innovative creative ways. I can’t & won’t escape the fact that I am an artist, nor will I suppress it. I know in my mind & in my heart what I have to do to make myself happy. To feel good from the inside out. To move forward in this world & to accomplish my goals. To stay on track with destiny. & to not waste my time on people, jobs, places, & situations that might hold me back. I will not take that chance. How many lives will we live before we really try our very hardest & give life 200% effort into making this life the very best we could live?! I miss people often. & the reason why I miss people so often so much is because I chose to remember the good times, sometimes too much. Then that leads to why the good times stopped, and why I had to keep moving forward in my life. When we chose to give each other titles & roles, we create expectation beyond our control, & then someone ends up hurt…usually both, or all. Communication. We all have different ways of communicating. We communicate with each person at different levels of intimacy, importance, etc. For me personally my life is grounded by positive balance. Everything I do in my life revolves around balance. So when things become uneasy I have to lighten the load to become balanced again. Even if that means distancing myself from certain situations that feed off of drama. It’s difficult sometimes when people have already created an image of you, a life style that they swear you live by, & pertain to have expectations of your actions based off that false temporary image. While I was working all of these jobs, I was also in college full time as well. But during those days I did party hard as well. But ironically the quarter I partied the hardest in was when I received a grant from the Art Institute in Santa Monica. My classes were 4 hours long with 22 hours of homework on top of that for each class. My roommates would find me drafting blue prints on our dining table for days straight. Living out in Los Angeles, you know that success never sleeps. Fun fact: I’ve had a 21 ID since I was 16 (thanks to my oldest sister), so you can say that sure enough I burned myself out on the scene. Being able to consume alcohol like sweet nectar meant that it took a tole on my body over the years. Nowadays, I mainly drink my cold pressed organic raw juice daily. “Friends” claim that I’ve become M.I.A because I’m all wifed up…but to be honest I’m just putting my health & well being first. I don’t feel like going out & partying until the sunrises unless it’s really worth my time, my spiritual growth, & that will benefit me in a positive way. I’ve done the whole club thing millions of times (I sure love to get down on the dance floor though—-that’s undeniable), dive bars, etc. If I’m going to go all out it’s going to be for art, live music, festivals, nature adventures, supporting my hubby’s super sexy math rock back, etc. I need more spiritual, creative, & intellectual stimulation that just going out & getting drunk. We’re not forever 21. I’m going out most of the time because I work two jobs, run all of the social media marketing for my artist network, constantly create as an artist, keep my body in good shape, & being an unconditional loving wifey to my best friend, love of my life, biggest inspiration, my one & only hubby! & I’m always spending time with my family, especially all of my nephews & nieces. So pardon me if I don’t feel the need to have to explain every detail of my life. If you really love me, just know that I love & miss you always. But also understand that I am on a quest of self success & then you will understand the rest. No hard feelings, this is just life. Everything happens for a reason…seriously.